Need You Now [Phan]

I stagger into my hotel room, drunk, feeling around for a light switch. The room's dark, and I glance at the clock and see that it's past 1am. I got kicked out of the bar, it was getting too late for the place to be open, after all it is a Sunday night. So I had to stagger home.

Why was I drinking at this hour of the morning I hear you ask? I guess none of you expect innocent Phil to go out drinking, but sometimes pressure builds up and yeah I go and get hammered. Isn't that lovely? I can be an average 20 something year old, alright?

I feel sick.

I always regret doing this.

WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?

I look around the hotel room floor, and remember how I left the room. Covered in pictures, of letters, of drawings... of everything which reminds me of Dan. I moved out, we had a row, I couldn't deal with living with him anymore. I guess these things happen. I've been in here for almost a week now, and tonight - no wait, last night - it just got too much and I went out drinking.

And now I feel like death.

Whenever I used to get drunk, Dan would be there and help me. Mop up my sick, dry my tears, wake me up with orange juice and coffee and painkillers the next day. And, most importantly, listen to the reason I went out and drank in the first place. Like my own mini therapist, only better. Because he understood me.

I promised myself that I wouldn't call Dan though. We chose to go our separate ways; I doubt he's even thinking of me so he wouldn't appreciate it if I woke him up in the middle of the night. And I'm big enough to deal with my own problems now. Especially one which I caused by doing something stupid like drinking.

Oh and it'll hurt too much to speak to him! It's not even been a week and maybe I'm missing him a smidge. Maybe more than a smidge. But not much more! We agreed that we just weren't right to be boyfriends anymore. That's normal, it happens. People change. Break-ups happen. Even with gay couples who everyone thought were perfect.

The crying stage starts. This is what happens when I get drunk. This is when Dan holds me and lets me cry into his shoulder, and doesn't care if I ruin his t-shirt. And he whispers to me that it'll be okay, that nothing matters now, that he's there to look after me.

I think about him all the time. I doubt I ever cross his mind, unless he stumbles across one of the socks I've left in the house. Or the 3 boxes of my stuff which are in the loft, until I have a new place to live.

Okay screw dignity. I need Dan. I grab my phone and dial his number.

"Phil. What do you want? It's quarter past one."

"D...D...Dan... I'm a little drunk... and I need you now"
"Which hotel are you in?"

"Village hotel, room 232."

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

There's a knock at the door and I run to it, unlock it and fall into the arms of Dan. He carries me into the room, sits on the bed and pulls me onto his lap, letting me cry just like the old times. I needed him, and he came.

"I was wondering how long it would take you before you git drunk Phil," Dan whispers after a while. He knows me too well.

"S...sorry... I said I wouldn't call!" I stammer.

"Don't be sorry... I'm sorry that you left. I've been waiting for you to call, but I thought you'd moved on!"

I shake my head. "Never."

And, just like that, we're back together.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now